I wish I was a penguin


280135 notes | 16 hours ago , via wheres-margo | from penceyprepofficial

driving-in-the-sampala:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

First

(Source: penceyprepofficial)




8298 notes | 17 hours ago , via traits-of-a-mad-man | from greenxviolet

greenxviolet:

s03e02

(x)




615 notes | 17 hours ago , via in-lupul-we-trust | from sidcrosbys

sidcrosbys:

New pick up line: I can blow you better than your team can blow a 2-0 lead




433648 notes | 17 hours ago , via bewbin | from yungterra

lecic-has-a-shovel:

yungterra:

There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM

I completely photosynthesize with this

(Source: yungterra)




214361 notes | 18 hours ago , via bewbin | from oomshi

(Source: oomshi)




45285 notes | 18 hours ago , via url-coming-soon | from markoruffalo

staingirl:

markoruffalo:

i understood that reference

I WAS SCREAMING.




28780 notes | 19 hours ago , via url-coming-soon | from peterfromtexas
peterfromtexas:

Meanwhile in Toronto

peterfromtexas:

Meanwhile in Toronto




114922 notes | 19 hours ago , via bewbin | from floozys
floozys:

this is so specific i love it 

floozys:

this is so specific i love it 




158777 notes | 20 hours ago , via url-coming-soon | from squatslikeagirl

squatslikeagirl:

If you don’t use an empty house to sing obnoxiously and off key in your underwear you are doing life wrong




184539 notes | 20 hours ago , via wheres-margo | from thesimpsonswayoflife