I wish I was a penguin


567424 notes | 48 minutes ago , via assmazing | from hugstyles

winxhesters:

potato-tots:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

hugstyles:

why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out

my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once

when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve




472857 notes | 59 minutes ago , via assmazing | from jerkidiot

jerkidiot:

wlovepierce:

jerkidiot:

sonnyforpresident:

jerkidiot:

jerkidiot:

IM A TEENAGER I WANNA BE DANGEROUS I WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY I WANNA GO STEAL A TRAFFIC LIGHT

REBELLION

image

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT TRAFFIC LIGHTS WERE A LOT SMALLER

YOU THINK THAT’S BIG?? CHECK OUT THIS STOP SIGN I JUST GRABBED

image

STOP STEALING ROAD NAVIGATIONAL ESSENTIALS.

NO




thecutestofthecute:

Mud + Pup = True happiness.




13 notes | 2 hours ago , via larger-than-life76 | from big-dewlittle


2578 notes | 2 hours ago , via in-lupul-we-trust | from chriskreider

dubinskys:

ask-newsketches:

dubinskys:

ive had 

image

of ur shit

this is tumblr… we don’t speak sport

This post applies especially to you

(Source: chriskreider)




894 notes | 3 hours ago , via itwasac0ldnight | from matthewsagan

unic0rnzstar:

matthewsagan:

when you stayin over at a relative’s house

image

This is from a porno

(Source: matthewsagan)




34992 notes | 3 hours ago , via yourlucyneedsyou | from wannajoke

(Source: wannajoke)




38338 notes | 4 hours ago , via scottthepilgrim | from panicacidide

panicacidide:

Apparently it’s not socially acceptable for a man to invite another man out just for coffee or to go out for a meal, in case it’s perceived as a date. Like it’s fine if you wanna go to the pub and drink beer and have a chat but make it non-alcoholic and suddenly you’re not straight anymore? You can go to the cinema together but ONLY if it’s an action movie. You guys can’t even just go shopping with each other. Oh masculinity, so fragile, so strange. 




104389 notes | 4 hours ago , via traits-of-a-mad-man | from sktagg23

shuckydarn-fiddlefaddle:

terezi-pie-rope:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

sktagg23:

Please be kidding.

(This is why we can’t have nice things.)

whoever blocked out that girl’s credit card info

thank you

"The scientists found out that pluto dont exist"
I sigh for humanity

And no one had the courage to tell them their mistakes…




thisfloweredone:

shoulderblades:

DOGS THAT ATE BEES i’m cryign

I AM NOT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE THIS LIKE AN ADULT